Thursday, November 13, 2014

The Conundrum of Kim Kardashian's derriere!!

The conundrum circling around Kim Kardashian’s ass has split the opinions on my Facebook literally  in two.  The one half are grossed out, disgusted and revolted so violently, you’d think we’re witnessing a public dismemberment and quartering in the middle of a town square during the Middle Ages.  The other half express emotions of delight, adoration and adulation as if a lost member of the family has suddenly reappeared after having been lost at sea for years.  

And a few including myself are ambivalently stuck in between the left and the right, firmly held in place by the belief that no opinion is needed on Kim Kardashian’s ass.  Excuse the tongue in cheek, I have a hard time escaping the deliciousness of the play on words.

Why is Kim’s ass of such gigantic consequence for me to have to pull over to the side of the road, on my way back from Court to write these few lines??  While we may have been overwhelmed by the glitz, glamour and shine of the maxim that “sex sells”, it is not Kim’s ass that is at issue.  

Ladies, OUR collective ass is on the line.  How dare we judge one of our sisters' figure, lest we allow others to judge OUR thighs, our stomachs, our boobs, our nose, our chin, and other body parts?  How dare we attach measurements, calibrations and standards of “beauty” and “ugliness” to body parts that are what they are?  Have we not suffered enough by being told to be thin, to be svelte, to be lithe, to be this and to be that?   Have we not driven ourselves into madness by going from one diet to another, from one surgery to another, from a nip and a tuck, to a lipo and a suction? From Botox, to fillers, to implants, and ….  

Have we not pushed our daughters into conforming to ridiculous concepts of  THINNESS and beauty that is only achieved through starvation, surgery and photoshop??  Has the fashion industry not enslaved and objectified us enough?  

Which one of us has a god given perfect figure? WHAT is a perfect figure?  Who is there to say that an ass must be small or big? Or giggly or tight?  Who is there to tell me or YOU, or your daughters what the definition of beauty is? Why do we sit in judgment of ONE of our own and become so violent in critique??  how many of us can stand in front of the mirror and look at our own body and say:  "i am gorgeous as i am" without comparing ourselves to the Angelina's, the KK's, the Sophia Lorens etc...

We, as women have rightfully bemoaned, loathed and hated our servitude to men.  Our bodies have been used over several millenia in war as trophies, in battle as a refuge, in fights as resting places, in anger as punching bags, in trade as booty, in booty as objects...  With blood, tear, and our lives, slowly over thousands of years, we have finally achieved freedom, over our bodies, our heads, our thoughts and our actions.  

Why are we sitting in judgment of our sisters?   You think she is dumb?  How is she dumb?  She is on the front page of every magazine, and has made a fortune and is living a life grander and larger than many of us can imagine.  She has done so by having business savvy.   How is that wrong?  How is it wrong for her to have claimed her body, her mind and her intelligence to create an empire?  Why is it OK for VOGUE, HARPER'S BAZAAR, W, GLAMOUR or other fashion magazines to use and abuse and take advantage of models to make millions?  But it is NOT ok for KIM to use her own assets to create an empire?  

Isn’t the whole definition of empowerment the ACTUAL ability and power to do as one wishes to do?  It may not be what you and I may do, but we, as women, do not have the luxury to sit in judgment of those amongst us who have chosen to live by their own standards.  PERSONAL FREEDOM & LIBERTY are the cornerstones of our constitutional Republic.   Do not curtail your sister’s rights… by doing so, you are implicitly allowing others to curtail YOURS and Mine.  … 

Such cannot be.

Stepping off the Pulpit
Alaleh Kamran, Attorney at Law
A Professional Corporation
15760 Ventura Blvd, Suite 1010
Encino, Ca  91436
Copyright 11-13-2014

Lecturer, Radio Host, Citizen Journalist, Blogger
Los Angeles, Las Vegas

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

The gift from Hell.

"Can't you read the writing on the wall?  Can't you see the law is not for you?  You'll never pass the Bar.  No one will ever give you a job!! Why don't you drop out of law school now, while you're ahead of the game.  You'll be more successful at a truck driving school, than you ever will be as an attorney".

I sat at the Dean's office, peeling the skin around my nails until they were bleeding, shaking my right knee nervously, and biting my lip to stop my self from throwing up.  The tirade was relentless.  I can't remember what else he said.  He was evil incarnate, sitting in a wheelchair, spewing venom...  The words that i do remember have managed to etch themselves in every nook and cranny of my brain and have repeated themselves in my head a million times since that fateful Spring day in 1989.  Every time I came face to face with a challenge and i thought i was going to lose, every time i prevailed and survived; every time i got knocked out of the game, and pulled myself up by the bootstraps and got back in the game, in my head, in my mind, in the deepest crevices of my fears, i came face to face with the words of Dean Gordon Schaber.

 "Can't you read the writing on the wall?  Can't you see the law is not for you?"

 How could a wheelchair bound old man facing death be so heartless?? "YOU'LL NEVER PASS THE BAR... no one will ever give YOU a job".  He hissed like a snake with spit flying all over the room.

And thus, this is how, Dean Gordon Schaber of McGeorge School of Law, in the spring of 1989 told me to get the fuck out of McGeorge Law School and move on with my life, because in his esteemed mind, i was NEVER going to pass the Bar, i was never going to become a lawyer, and no one was ever going to give me a job.  A month before the end of my second year, discouraged, kicked down and beaten to the ground, bloodied up and humiliated like a rape victim on the side of the road, suicidal and heavily loaded up by student debt, i dropped out of McGeorge School of Law.

Twenty-five years have passed.  You see, Dean Gordon Schaber, I went back to law school at night while i worked at the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office.  You see, you sexist racist piece of whatever, in my darkest hour, Justice Bernard Jefferson, the first black man to graduate Harvard Law School and the author of the Evidence Benchbook, lifted me from the ground, shook the dirt off of me, wrapped me up in a security blanket, and gave me the courage to overcome my obstacles.

You see, I did pass the bar.  I did become an attorney.  and you know what?  i don't need anyone to give me a job, I GIVE jobs.  And over the last 25 years, hundreds of chapters have written themselves.  I have touched thousands of lives, and in the process of going through victory and defeat with my clients, i have been forged like iron, sharpened, polished and hardened.

 Countless times, the night before a huge hearing, when a person's life and future was resting in my hands, i have woken up, silently screaming, drenched in sweat with my heart pounding, having just fallen out from an airplane, or fallen into a precipice, or having been lost in an airless capsule in deep space... the only words that ever echo, repeatedly are: "The law is not for you".... There is a part of me that wants to damn the soul of Gordon Schaber to eternal hell.  And yet, there is a part of me that celebrates that absolute and utter moment of failure, defeat, and humiliation.  

So why take the pen, and regurgitate the most painful part of my past?  why today?  why now?  Why look back when i am now flying like an Eagle, the wingspan of my practice spreading itself from Coast to Coast?  You see Dean Gordon Schaber... while you were like the black hole and represented nothing but evil ... I, on the other hand, have become the candle that lights a thousand other candles.  Someday, perhaps a lot sooner than later, i will finally write my stories... but for now, i sit at my desk, staring at an envelope that just arrived, with a hundred Thank You notes from a local high school.

And all i did was to stand in front of them... look them in the eye and say:  "Don't let anyone EVER stand in front of YOUR dreams.  Don't EVER turn your back on YOURself.  and To Thine Ownself Be True"...

You see, Dean Gordon Schaber, you tried to beat me to the ground, because you were a beaten man, and while you were sinking deeper into the hell that has now become your eternal resting place, I, on the other hand, elevate and empower those i touch, and raise them to the arches of the heavens.

CDAK, Uncollected Writings. 
Lines, Rhymes and Internal Monologues: 2014
November 11, 2014

Alaleh Kamran, Attorney at Law
A Professional Corporation
15760 Ventura Blvd, Suite 1010
Encino, Ca  91436
ph: 818-986-6222

Lecturer, Radio Host, Citizen Journalist, Blogger
Los Angeles